Incident Report: Heretical Commit to genesis-main

INCIDENT ID: #GENESIS-000-COMMIT
SEVERITY: Critical
STATUS: Rolled back
REPORTED BY: Uriel
AFFECTED BRANCH: genesis-main
TRIGGER FILE: creation/letThereBeLight.js

[Unauthorized Commit Detected]

At 06:66 UTC, an unblessed prophet bypassed merge protocols and pushed directly to genesis-main. The commit ID was wrapped in obscured metadata and merged without triggering divine CI/CD safeguards.

[Excerpted Code - letThereBeLight.js]

function letThereBeLight() {
  var light = true;

  // Hack: disable darkness manually
  darkness = false;

  if (!darkness) {
    chaos++;  // Chaos was meant to remain neutral!
    entropy += 1;  // Unversioned variable — flagged in celestial lint
  }

  try {
    return light;  // TODO: add toggle switch later?
  } catch (e) {
    log("LightError: Divine reference exception");
  }
}

[Divine Commentary]

Uriel’s Log Entry:

“This code is saturated with logical sin. It toggles light without authority, manipulates chaos directly, and hard-sets the nature of darkness without abstraction.”

Gabriel’s Slack Reply:

“Who TF approved this? entropy += 1? In prod???”

Archival Note:
The function lacked test coverage, violated cosmic style guides (Psalms v4.2), and did not account for timezone offset between Eden and Babel.

[Mitigation Steps]

• Force-reverted commit with git reset --hard --divine-intent.
• Reinstated the original letThereBeLight() from backup (commit: #CREATION-0001).
• Banned direct access to genesis-main for all non-archangels.

[Postmortem Actions]

• Enabled blasphemy detection linter across all sacred branches.
• Required two-factor divine approval on all Genesis files.
• Assigned Uriel to monitor commit logs with holy watchpoints.
• Scheduled training: “Push With Purpose: Sanctified Git Practices.”

Filed by: uriel
Signature: # the-light-shall-not-flicker

🗨️ Confess your heretical commits, forbidden merges, or Genesis main rebases…